The Distance Travelled torrent

When the pig comes crashing through my kitchen window, I’m not sure what to think. I mean, dig: There I am just hanging out, eating some Boo Berry, waiting for the afternoon rack session (hoping that Stanson and Jonesy are on duty ’cause they usually give me a break—Barnes and Salinger always stretch me till they hear ligaments tear and sockets pop), when lo, what’s this flying through my window? A big, fat, porcine letter bomb. I jump out of my chair and run over to the window to try to get a look at the bastards who launched it, but by the time I get there, all that remain are the shattered window—bits still dropping off, tinkling in the post-apigalyptic silence—flames belching from the Lake of Sorrow (I have a villa on the waterfront), and smoking brimstone as far as the eye can see. The pig scrambles to its feet and dashes into my living room, squealing all the way ...




by Brett Alexander Savory